Easter Casket (2013)

[gorepolice]

Easter is fast approaching, and for Catholics, that means it's time to celebrate the resurrection of their lord and savior, Jesus Christ. However, the tradition of hunting for eggs and children asking about the Easter Bunny sometimes get in the way of it all. What are they to do? Well, the clergy have gathered for a meeting and are going to decide to do away with any traditions that have nothing to do with Jesus. This however, incurs the wrath of one Peter Cottontail, aka the Easter Bunny (voiced by director Dustin Mills). To make his displeasure known, he crucifies a nun and carves "Ezekiel 8:14" into her flesh, leaving her to be seen by everyone.


Deciding that an investigation must take place to figure out what this means and how to stop it, the Mega Pope (voiced by Steve Rimpici) calls upon a priest named Father Asher (Josh Eal). After doing some investigating, Father Asher discovers from Cardinal O'Malley that the Easter Bunny is actually a God that is older than the known Catholic God, and that Easter is actually all about sex! Deciding not to listen to these blasphemous words, Cardinal O'Malley admits that it was he who summoned the Easter Bunny, and that he is the antichrist who will destroy the world once he procreates with a human woman. Armed with his special powers, a holy hand grenade given to him from the Mega Pope, and with the aid of a Catholic school girl, can Father Asher stop the end of the world as we know it?


So...I only decided to watch this one because I found out is was available on YouTube until Easter, and what better way to spend the holiday than with a themed horror film, right? WRONG. This movie is TERRIBLE. Of course, it's called Easter Casket, so this probably shouldn't be much of a shock.


Now, I understand this is a next to no budget film, so I'm not going to rag on it for bad effects or terrible acting (though it obviously does have both) because that's what you expect from movies like this. I will however, say that even at 80 minutes, this runs WAY too long. Scenes drag out longer than they should, lots of stuff happens that has absolutely no bearing on the plot, dialogue is mostly terrible, and it thinks it can get by on bad jokes and nudity.


To be fair, a few jokes are legitimately funny, and a few of the ideas are not bad (the Mega Pope had me cracking up), but overall this an idea that would have made for a good short film rather than a full length feature. If you enjoyed Thankskilling, maybe you might like this. If not though, there's much better low budget stuff out there.

[endo]

Probably pass on this one, but I like that poster and the name is killer.