Kids Go To The Woods...Kids Get Dead (2009)

[gorepolice]

Do you like cheesy, b-grade, midnight move level horror? Well our host Candy Adams has just the movie for you! In between movie footage, fake commercials, and what appears to be home movies, out hostess will chime in with a silly joke or some commentary (much like horror hosts such as Elvira).


Casey is going on a trip with her friends, but unfortunately has to bring her awkward little brother along with her. Her boyfriend and his other friend torment him the entire time, even though he doesn't do anything to them, and tries to just be protective of his sister and read his book. On the way their destination, they stop to pick up some beer, but the clerk there warns them that strange things are happening in the woods, unexplained killings that have gone unsolved. He warns them that they should go back home or vacation elsewhere, but they go ahead anyway. Now unfortunately though, it seems that the gas mask wearing killer from Scott's book is real, and he will stop at nothing to add these teens to his body count.


So...sorry this was so short, but this movie itself it nothing but a cliche ridden, low budget piece of crap. Hell, even typing that single paragraph was a struggle. I could have made this review by simply saying "A group of 30 year old "teenage" douchebags go to the woods, act like assholes and get killed," and that would probably have been all you needed to know. Every character is just completely awful, making this 90 of the worst minutes of my life.


This is an example of the type of horror I absolutely hate. I can't tell if it's trying too hard to be a parody of 80's films, or not trying at all. Everything about this movie completely sucks. The dialogue, the acting, the effects, the story, the jokes...NOTHING about this film works. I doubt you'll find yourself running across it, but if you do, don't waste your time.

[endo]

Great review, definitely be staying away from this one.

[gorepolice]

Good choice. It's sooooo bad.